Ok,let me just give you a quick background on what im doing every thursdays and fridays…
I know, Scrubs isnt your thing right now so i suggest dont read it…go and watch your fave TV show…w/c unfortunately is Wowowee!!! Squatter ka!!!
Now…a brief intro of the cast:
Dr. Jonathan "John" "J.D." Michael Dorian
Nerdish Narrator
he provides the overall narration in the show with the voiceovers linking the two to three story arcs in each episode (with seven exceptions so far). He is quite a geek, but knowingly so and manages nonetheless to have romantic liaisons with some attractive women.
Dr. Elliot Reid
Elliot is a close friend and former fellow attending physician to series protagonist John "J.D." Dorian, although the boundaries between friendship and romance have often been crossed throughout the show’s run.
Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk
Christopher Turk, commonly referred to by his surname, is the best friend and former roommate of the series’ protagonist, J.D. He is currently an attending surgeon at Sacred Heart Hospital, where the series takes place, and is married to Carla Espinosa, one of the nurses. He was most likely born somewhere around 1976, as he first left for college in 1993/1994, during which time, as well as his Surgical major he completed a minor in Psychology - during this time he regularly attended therapy in order to deal with the stress.
Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox (most commonly referred to as Dr. Cox)
Dr. Cox is the senior attending physician at Sacred Heart Hospital and Residency Director for the hospital. In a 2003 episode, it is established that he is 40 years old, which probably places his birth somewhere around 1963. He is the sarcastic, bitter mentor of John "J.D." Dorian the show’s main character. Dr. Cox routinely rants at and belittles J.D., though his apparently rough treatment of J.D. is intended as conditioning for the rigours and horrors of hospital life, as well as an outlet for Cox’s frustration in his life. It is hinted that he is secretly proud of J.D. and thinks he has the potential to become a great doctor.
Carla Espinosa
Carla is a nurse who works at Sacred Heart Hospital, in which the main action of the show takes place.She was raised in Chicago. Her family is from the Dominican Republic. It is revealed in Season 5 that she is 36, which suggests that she was born in 1969 or 1970. Conversely, she and series protagonist J.D. (whom she refers to affectionately as "Bambi") have a fairly close friendship. She is protective of J.D. and stands up for him when chief attending physician Dr. Cox shouts at him for no reason.
Janitor
In the series’ pilot episode,J.D. sees the Janitor fixing a sliding door that was stuck, and suggested someone might have stuck a penny in the door. When the Janitor finds a penny in the door, he assumes J.D. put it there, and has spent the rest of the series tormenting him. Some of his practical jokes have been on the severe side, such as destroying J.D.’s bike and trapping him in a water tower.In the first four seasons he is referred to more often than not as "Janitor" (rarely "the Janitor").
Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso, M.D. (most commonly referred to as Bob Kelso or Kelso)
Bob Kelso is the truculent chief of medicine for the hospital. He graduated twelfth in his class at Stanford University in 1968, although he had claimed to have graduated first in the class of 1972, until his lie was exposed by a patient using her Internet capable cellphone.
He always puts the long term interests of the hospital above the interests of any individual patient. In one episode, Kelso kicked a poor patient out of a drug trial to make room for a rich patient. The poor patient died, but the rich patient made a donation to the hospital that allowed them to fund free pre-natal care for poor single mothers. Dr. Cox objects to Kelso’s cold decisions (saying that Kelso is "the most evil human being on the planet, and may in fact be Satan himself"). But J.D. seems to appreciate the difficulty of Kelso’s position, thinking "I wouldn’t want to have to make any of the decisions that he makes." Dr. Kelso says he doesn’t care about his employees, and often insults them or makes jokes at their expense. But deep down he really does seem to care about them. When Elliot Reid disagreed with Dr. Kelso on a medical decision, and Dr. Kelso told her not to tell the patient’s family, and said, "Oh, and for the record, we’re not colleagues. I don’t care what you think." But when she told the family anyway, and her treatment didn’t work, Dr. Kelso said, "You made a bold decision and it bit you in the keister…. I don’t like people disagreeing with me. There’s not another resident here who has the guts to do it." Then he called her a colleague. Although when she commented on his calling her a colleague, he said, "I did. But I hate my colleagues.
Well..i just love this sitcom…
hahaha…Especially the converstaions…
let me give you samples:
MEMORABLE QUOTES:
Dr. Cox: …And bam! The shine’s off the apple. And that’s when you find out that that pretty little girl you married isn’t a pretty little girl at all. No, she’s a man-eater. And I’m not talking about the "whoa-whoa, here she comes" kind of man-eater. I’m talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink. Of course, I may have tormented her from time to time; but, honest to God, that’s what I thought marriage was all about. So much so that, by the end of that relationship, I honestly don’t know who I hated more - her or me? I used to sit around and wonder… why our friends weren’t trying to destroy each other, like we were. And here, it turns out, the answer’s pretty simple: They weren’t unhappy. We were
********************
Dr. Cox: [in response to something J.D. just said] Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out
********************
Carla: [about a male intern] You’re right; he definitely has a cute little butt.
Elliot: It’s almost like it’s been sculpted.
J.D.: Who cares? Everyone has a cute butt; I have a cute butt.
Carla: You should bring it in someday.
********************
Elliot: Sir, my father cut me off…
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, this is not Bring Your Problems to Work Day. This is just Work Day.
********************
Dr. Cox and the pregnant Jordan are walking through towards a Nurses’ Station]
Dr. Cox: Yes, hello? Could we please get my hormonal, extremely annoying ex-wife’s amnio underway?
Jordan: Wow, I can’t wait to write that down in the baby journal.
[Dr. Cox grunts]
Jordan: Could you be a bigger ass right now?
Dr. Cox: Could you *have* a bigger ass right now?
********************
r. Kelso has punctured his eardrums]
Ted: There you are, you deaf bastard! I hate you so much, every time you utter my name, I wanna stick my fist all the way down your throat and watch you slowly choke on it!
Dr. Kelso: Ted, I can hear now.
Ted: [frightened] Who’s Ted?
********************
Janitor: What is it with steel wool? Is it steel? Or is it wool?
********************
Dr. Kelso: Well, if it isn’t Dr Turk, friendly face of Sacred Heart.
Turk: Yeah, Dr Kelso, umm, about these posters… They’re kinda making me uncomfortable.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you felt that way. Well here’s what we’re gonna do… I’m gonna leave them up.
Turk: I can live with that… Or I can sue you.
Dr. Kelso: Dr Turk, you are an employee here. I can use your image, your name, I can manufacture tiny Dr Turk action figures that cost $12.95 and when you pull the string it’ll say "I don’t like these posters of me." Isn’t that right, Ted?
Ted: Oh, definitely, sir. Of course you’d certainly be vulnerable from a legal standpoint.
Dr. Kelso: How long?
Ted: Sir, that lawsuit would be over so quickly, I’d advise you to bring cabfair to the courthouse, since Dr Turk would be driving your Beemer home to his place.
********************
Turk: Who are these guys?
J.D.: These are the last eight guys in the hospital that don’t realize I suck at basketball. So here’s what gonna happen: I finally mastered my running hook shot so when we go to pick teams I’m gonna hit that shot. Then you say I’ll pick that guy at which point Carla is gonna page me and I’ll say "*Crap*, I’ve gotta go." And you’ll go "*Damn*, we just lost the best player out here." And then there will be eight guys in the hospital who think I’m good at sports and word will spread.
Turk: When do you find time to see your patients?
J.D.: Between these thoughts.
********************
J.D.: [JD and Turk are lying on the ground] Why are we lying in the parking lost?
Turk: Your hook shot knocked you unconscious and I lied down next to you so everybody would think we were chillin’.
J.D.: Oh. Thanks S.C.B. By the way I should tell you something. I found an apartment and I’m moving out the day after tomorrow.
Turk: Wow. What does S.C.B. mean?
J.D.: Super. Chocolate. Bear.
Turk: I love it
********************
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, I need to get Enid a birthday present.
Elliot: Ahh! When’s her birthday?
Dr. Kelso: I think it was last week.
Elliot: Um… well, a scarf is always nice.
Dr. Kelso: That’s perfect. It’s simple; it’s elegant; and it’ll hide her turkey neck.
********************
J.D.: [thinking] Why don’t I ever listen to me?
********************
Dr. Kelso: And I need you to crunch the numbers on next year’s budget.
Ted: Sir, that would be a job for the accounting department. I’m an attorney.
Dr. Kelso: Uh-huh, and speaking of crunching, I have been jonesing for some Double-Stuf Oreos all day. Why don’t you see if you can’t hook me up?
********************
Ted: And you know what else? I quit!
Dr. Kelso: No you don’t!
Ted: Well I’m leaving early today!
Dr. Kelso: No, you’re not! You’re coming back to my office to do busy work!
Ted: Fine, but I’m getting a soda first!
Dr. Kelso: Whatever.
********************
Dr. Kelso: Here at Sacred Heart, I like to think that our patients choose our hospital not only because I leak vicious rumors about competing hospitals to the press, but also because when they see one of our doctors they think, Now that’s a professional!
Elliot: Um, Sir I don’t think I look unprofessional.
Dr. Kelso: I’ve let this whole new look thing slide the last few months, but now that your colleagues are beginning to complain I’m going to give you the same advice I give my son every morning. Lose the makeup! Get a haircut! And stop using my razor to shave your fun zone!
********************
[a strange smell appears during surgery]
Dr. Wen: I don’t know where that smell came from.
Todd: Uh, sir?
Dr. Wen: What is it, do you see something?
Todd: Sir, I farted. That smell was from the fart that I made.
Chris Turk: Dude.
Dr. Wen: Get the Hell out of my O.R.!
*******************
[about J.D]
Dr. Cox: Uh, Carla. Carla, have you, uh, have you seen Newbie?
Carla: Oh, he got off your leash?
Dr. Cox: [laughing] Give me a break. The kid’s like… he’s like a… have you ever seen a drunk baby?
[Carla stares at him]
Dr. Cox: Eh, it’s a long story involving my son, a rum cake, and a low counter. Suffice to say, it turns out that, at first, it’s… it’s endearing to watch them bounce off of the walls, but man… you take your eyes off them for one second…
[hits the table]
Dr. Cox: …and bam! They got a bucket on their head, and they’re plowing right through your brand new flat screen TV.
[whispering remorsefully]
Dr. Cox: God save me, it was barely out of the box.
[Carla continues to stare at him]
Dr. Cox: The point is… Newbie is my drunk baby.
********************
Elliot: Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie, no… it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively *to* clowns.
Elliot: I’m sorry, that was my mistake, I keep forgetting that you’re a horrible, horrible person.
Dr. Cox: Ooh, Backbone Barbie.
********************
J.D.: What are you doing?
Janitor: I’m fixing the door.
J.D.: Maybe there’s a penny stuck in there.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was just trying to make conversation.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there… I’m taking you down.
********************
J.D.: Look, Dr. Cox, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I honestly think the only reason that you’re not down at that hospital right now is that… you’re afraid.
Dr. Cox: I think you’re right, I do. It’s partly because you’ve gotten to know me this year, but mostly it’s that well… I told you I was afraid earlier today… so please don’t tell me you’ve come to reiterate things that I’ve already said, because I know the things that I’ve already said, in fact… I’m the one who said them.
********************
Dr. Cox: You’d better go ahead and enjoy this while you can, Bob, because if your evil genie goes ahead and grants your wish and I’m gone forever, then the only one you’re going to be able to contend with around here is yourself. And when you really get to know *that* person, oh, dear God, you’ll scream so loud that Satan will want to tear up that contract he made with you at birth just so he can get some sleep.
********************
Dr. Cox: I’m hoping for your sake there’s another Dr. Cox sitting right behind me.
Elliot: I’m not sure what you were trying to teach me by sending me to Dr. Kelso.
Dr. Cox: The value, and this is important, of leaving me alone.
Elliot: I think we both know there’s a little more to it than that.
Dr. Cox: No, trust me, there’s not. Listen, missie, I want you to spread the word. I’ve… had… enough! The next whiney intern coming to me for a cookie and a hug, I swear to Aïsha, I’m going to hurt!
[Dr. Cox jumps over the couch]
Dr. Cox: And you, you one-man freakshow, take your blah-blah to the blah-blah-psychologist, because if you are so stupid to confront the chief of medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you’ve just gotta go ahead and change the captain of your brainship, because he’s drunk at the wheel.
Elliot: You’re right, you’re absolutely right. I have to learn to pick my battles. Thank you so much.
[Elliot leaves the room]
Dr. Cox: Y… you’re welcome
********************
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian, I owe you an apology. Obviously I was unclear when I said, "Stay in the MRI room with that patient", it must have sounded like, "Leave and do other things".
********************
Jordan: I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.
J.D.: That’s special.
********************
Dr. Cox: You know, Bob, I’ve been thinking of all the times you manipulated me and toyed with me and I can’t help but recall that children’s fable about that race between the tortoise and the pain-in-the-ass-chief-of-medicine-that-everybody-hates. You see, Bob, the pain-in-the-ass-chief-of-medicine-that-everybody-hates kept running out in front of the tortoise and taunting him, but right at the end… oh, gosh I’m sure you remember what happened Bob, the tortoise bit clean through the Chief of Medicine’s calf muscle, dragged him to the ground, where he and all the other turtles devoured him alive right there on the racetrack. It’s a disturbing children’s book, Bob, I know, but it’s one that stuck with me nonetheless.
Dr. Kelso: Buzzy, buzz, buzz…
Dr. Cox: I… beg your pardon?
Dr. Kelso: Oh, uh, that’s the sound of all the bees in your bonnet. And, Perry, even though I could give a rat’s ass, I still think it’s a pretty sound!
********************
Dr. Kelso: [Dr. Kelso just found out Turk cut off the plug of the Pacman machine] I know it was you.
Chris Turk: [waving the plug around] You mean this right here? It’s mine from home.
Dr. Kelso: Forty Million, Son. You have any idea how many patients I had to ignore to get that high-score? People died
********************
Todd: [Todd is playing Pacman] Oh, Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head. Eat those dots you naughty, naughty girl.
********************
J.D.: It’s hard to take positive steps, when you’ve burned the bridge you got to walk across.
********************
Todd: [to J.D., about Elliot] So, what are her breasts like?
Elliot: Todd, I’m right here.
Todd: Oh, sorry… So, what are your breast like?
********************
J.D.: Dr. Kelso. The doc here has been telling me that you have some great stories. I wouldn’t mind hearing one sometime.
Dr. Kelso: Oh what the hell. Back in ‘68 I don’t like you. The end
********************
Dr. Cox: So what you’re saying is you have a problem that is totally your problem but you’d like to find a way to make that problem my problem, but here’s the problem, newbie, it ain’t my problem.
********************
[an overweight patient has not been losing weight, despite Dr Cox's orders]
Dr. Cox: Lemme ask you a quick question: are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside somebody’s clogged artery when all that person has to do, really is - oh, I don’t know - go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that? And, I know here, I know I’m supposed to be Dr. Give-A-Crap, but you wanna hear the God’s honest truth? And this is a fact: you are what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn’t ya?
**********************
[Carla has stood up for JD against Dr Cox]
Dr. Cox: Oh, and Ginger, by the way - just a real smooth move runnin’ to your mommy.
J.D.: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, your mommy cah-rushed me today. I’m serious.
[to the various doctors and patients in the busy hospital]
Dr. Cox: Uh, I’d like to issue a warning to everybody, and I’m dead serious. FYI, JD’s mommy has made it perfectly clear she doesn’t want her daughter picked on. Nothing mean, she’s a precious flower, and we should all be super-nice to her
********************
Dr. Cox: Hey, Betty. Hey, Wilma. Oh, what the hell, you’re only forty minutes late. Do I… do I smell beer?
J.D.: Uh, we… we, uh, we had a few.
Dr. Cox: Newsflash, you can’t drink and then come to work. You’re not airline pilots
*********************
J.D.: Elliot, come on. You’re living out of a van like a homeless person… or Jewel.
*********************
Chris Turk: Awww… Where’s my lucky Tabasco rag?
J.D.: Why don’t you use Power Rangers?
Chris Turk: How are Power Rangers as lucky as Tabasco?
J.D.: Do you remember when communications with Zordon went down and the Megazord was destroyed?
Chris Turk: How did I miss that episode? Oh, right. I was making love to a woman!
J.D.: Power Rangers ho!
********************
Dr. Kelso: Son, do you think I got to be Chief of Medicine by being late?
Dr. Cox: Noooo, Bobbo, you got there by backstabbing and ass-kissing.
Dr. Kelso: Maybe so, but I started those things properly at eight!
***********************
Elliot: Position one, two or three?
J.D.: We only had two.
Elliot: Oh yeah. Then I have to show you something later.
***********************
Dr. Cox: Jordan! Get out of bed. We have a wedding to go to.
Jordan: Perry, Jack is at my mom’s, the apartment is empty. It’s just you and me… let’s take a nap, we’ll sleep through the ceremony and then go to the reception!
Dr. Cox: Can we at least have sex?
Jordan: [puts on sleeping mask] Do what you have to, don’t wake me.
***********************
Jordan: It’s Jack’s first birthday, I want it to be special. I got a petting zoo for the kids, and we need to figure out something great for the adults.
Dr. Cox: How about a russian roulette booth? And here’s the kicker, we put bullets in all the chambers, that way *everybody* wins!
J.D.: [butting in] will there be a piñata? Because I need to know if I should bring my piñata helmet.
Jordan: Up-up-bah! The only reason we invited you is because for *some* reason, you have your own Spongebob Squarepants Costume!
J.D.: It was a gift!
[voice-over]
J.D.: From me, to me!
*************************
Dr. Cox: [whispering, to Turk] You stole my moment… and you will pay.
*************************
J.D.: Mr. Daniels, some fluid has gathered in your heart, so I’m going to schedule a pericardial centesis and drain it with a needle.
Mr. Daniels: Someone’s going to stick a needle in my chest?
J.D.: Not just someone; Dr. Daman
Mr. Daniels: Who’s Dr. Daman?
J.D.: …Say it - -say it without the Dr.
Mr. Daniels: Who’s Mr. Daman
J.D.: No, just say the last name.
Mr. Daniels: Who’s Da Man?
J.D.: I’M THE MAN!
[laughs]
J.D.: It was awesome - it was fun doing that with you.
**********************
Chris Turk: You know, I love how kids of divorce really have the market cornered on family dysfunction. But let me share with you a typical Thanksgiving at the Turk household: It starts with my mother yelling at my sister for yelling at my grandmother who’s yelling at the television screen, which happens to be the microwave. And then my militant brother Jabari - formerly Bob - gives my father attitude for using the word black, even though he’s referring to the turkey. Which, by the way, only got burnt because instead of turning the oven off, my bi-polar aunt Leslie tried to shove her head in it. But you know what we do? We kiss… and we hug… and we apologize for all the things we said… ‘Cause a month later, we gonna get together and do it again at Christmas!
****************************
Dr. Cox: Oh, my God! I just gagged and vomited at the same time. I gavomited.
************************
Dr. Kelso: Come here, Tom.
Ted: Actually, it’s Ted. But hey, it’s only been twelve years
and like i care if you got bored….
ooohhh…what the hell….
stick with your telenovelas!!!!!!!
I mean, who is this guy anyway…
Jesus Christ!!
